Do you find it very hard to disconnect from someone you love who is draining you?
Or to say "no" when you cannot do something, but you sense the other person's need?
Or to shut down from everything you've been feeling all day and be able to rest at night?
If so, you are like most empaths - you have a hard time having healthy boundaries. Let me show you why, and how to get some!
Have you ever been told that you are "being mean" or "selfish" (or worse) when you finally decide that you are going to tell someone "no" who has been constantly draining your energy?
Or when you've decided that you no longer want someone's negative or toxic energy in your life?
Or when you decide that, for once, you are going to take care of yourself and NOT save someone who won't save themselves (for the 100th time)?
I remember a time when I was going through so much that I truly thought I would break. We had gone through our 4th or 5th failed adoption, and we had to put our beloved dog of 16 years to sleep due to an extremely fast-growing cancer that gave us just days to figure out what to do (and there was no treatment possible).
I am a person who tries to always see the bright side of things. I always look for the lesson. I always believe that even bad things are leading me to something better.
But, in that moment, I hit rock bottom. My faith shattered. My heart was broken in a way I felt was permanent. I had picked myself up and brushed myself off so many times, and I truly felt in that moment that I could not do it again. The weight of the sorrow of all of that loss was overwhelming.
It's time to stop believing everything you've been told about you having to ALWAYS be there to constantly for anything anyone could possibly need. It's time to understand how to feel the discomfort of putting up a healthy boundary, and to put it up anyway.
