If you are alive today, you have experienced the pain of losing something or someone you love. We are often told to hold in grief or that our sadness is ridiculous, especially if we are grieving the loss of a beloved pet or a material object like a house or car. However, in my practice, I see very clearly that unexpressed and unresolved grief causes a host of health issues, from physical issues like high blood pressure and dry eye to mental and spiritual issues like depression, addiction issues, and all-over fatigue. Needless to say, it’s critical that you take the time to fully honor the grief process. Here’s how I did it with a recent loss…I hope it helps you, too.
I’ve been doing this mind-body work for years, but the varied ways the body speaks about what’s off in the mind, body, and life never ceases to amaze me. One woman's cold shoulder taught us all a great deal about how much the body speaks up.
“What does it mean when you have pain just like she described but on the other side of the body?”
The question comes from a beautiful, silver-haired Latino woman who I will call Rosario. As she finishes asking the question she swallows hard, as if it took a great deal of effort to allow herself to ask it. Find out my answer, and how it was one of the most literal I've ever dealt with.
When you hold yourself up to a perfect ideal, you are telling life that you do not deserve love, respect, or any other good thing unless you meet that ideal. Of course, it is impossible to be perfect, so you end up feeling like a failure because you never get what you want. The good news is that you can change this!