Translating Chronic Fatigue, Migraines, Outside Foot Pain, and Why a Lack of Support Creates so Many Issues for Us.

Question #1: Right foot pain

Hi Tara - 

I have a sort of minor, but seriously annoying thing going on: Every time I walk forward, the outside of my right foot hurts. It’s kind of like an ache, and I notice the ache is still there if I stand in one place for a while. It’s both outside and kind of under the outside of my foot, if that makes sense.

It’s always there, except when I am off my feet laying down at the end of the day. 

Any insight on what’s going on here?

Thanks so much - 

Jamie

The answer to Jamie’s question starts at 1:19.

Question #2: Chronic fatigue and migraines:

Dear Tara - 

I’ve been diagnosed with sort of either/both chronic fatigue syndrome and/or fibromyalgia. It’s exhausting and painful, and I want to be rid of it. I have a lot of symptoms, as you might imagine. 

One of the most debilitating is that I can’t seem to do much of anything for too long without getting completely exhausted. However, I am also feeling a lot of muscle tension and aches, particularly in my arms. 

And I have been getting a ton of pain in my neck and the back of my head, which seems to be contributing to getting a lot of migraines. I have never had migraines quite like these. I get blinding pain - literally, it’s hard for me to see when I have them - and I am also getting really dizzy. 

What is this all saying? I am so sorry to hit you with so much, and I can see some things that you talk about in the course that make sense - like, I am sure I am seriously overwhelmed; I have a demanding job and a very demanding family - but I just can’t put the whole picture together. What do I do? 

Thank you so much for helping with this - 

Malia 

The answer to Malia’s question starts at 8:36

Deserving Good in Your Life After an Abusive Childhood

If you grew up dealing with abuse, you may feel - at a deep, unconscious level - like you don’t truly deserve good in your life, which can include healing.

In this special call, I answer a question about this, but I also talk about the 22 signs that you dealt with an abusive childhood (because it can be hard to truly see what happened and the effects of it, since it was just normal to you!).

22 Signs of an emotionally abusive childhood

1. Parents were extremely moody

2. Parents were overly critical and negative with you.

3. Parents were only critical and negative with you, but a sibling (or siblings) were always praised and supported. Or, you were compared to a sibling or someone else in your life, and you always found yourself being told that you were wanting.

4. Parents didn’t pay attention to your emotions, or invalidated them by saying you were too sensitive, too emotional, too whatever.

5. Parents made you take care of them, physically or emotionally.

6. Parents manipulated you with guilt, often for you simply being who you are or trying to do something important to you.

7. Parents either had massive rages or used the silent treatment on you.

8. Parents were physically there, but emotionally not present at all.

9. Parents didn’t allow you to have healthy boundaries.

10. You were expected to be perfect at all times, but even perfection got criticized.

11. As an adult, you constantly blame yourself for everything that happens.

12. As an adult, you have a very hard time saying no - you feel like it’s going to be the end of the world or the end of the relationship.

13. As an adult, you have a hard time disagreeing with others.

14. As an adult, you sabotage your efforts at success.

15. As an adult, you have a deep feeling of not being worthy or needing to prove your worth.

16. As an adult, you cringe or get anxious when you have to spend time with one or both of your parents.

17. As an adult, you’ve had a pattern of picking relationships that are strikingly similar to the dynamic between your parents, or the dynamic your parents showed to you.

18. As an adult, you still worry about how your parent will react to things.

19. As an adult, you find yourself not telling your parent too much about your life because you know it will be used against you.

20. As an adult, you are always monitoring everyone else’s emotions and trying to jump in and fix the problem before it blows up.

21. As an adult, you suffer from low self-worth, although everyone around you thinks you are awesome.

22. As an adult, you repress your emotions, often working hard to not show any reaction or tell others how you really feel.

Resources you might want to check out:

Do you have a narcissistic parent? Or partner? Check out this site and click under “surveys” to take a test to find out (Karyl McBride is considered the a top expert on narcissism and it’s impact on victims long-term): https://www.willieverbegoodenough.com/

Great book on the topic, with helpful, concrete advice: https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407

Jay Reid Therapy - excellent site with many, many helpful articles and videos - probably the best I have seen on the subject: https://jreidtherapy.com/videos/

Reconnect: Connect Energetically with a Loved One

Are you estranged from someone you love? Are you having to stay distant to people in your life due to the pandemic? Do you wish you could feel a connection with someone, even before talking with them?

This meditation is for you. I recommend this meditation if you are feeling disconnected from someone you love, such a being estranged from a child or a sibling, or if you are feeling disconnected from someone who is in your life now.

The focus of the meditation is to connect with the person who is afar spiritually and emotionally, allowing that connection to go deep in both of your hearts. I have used this practice with great success with all kinds of different situations.

Calm + Sleep: Releasing Anxiety and Worry for Better Sleep

Are you having a hard time falling asleep?

Does your mind tend to race at night?

Do you feel a lot of anxiety as you are trying to get to sleep?

Are you waking in the middle of the night and feeling panicked?

Do you just want to be able to have more restful sleep?

This meditation was designed to help ALL of those concerns!

In this meditation, it allows you to release all the worries of the day and drift into a deep, restful, restorative sleep.

Use whenever you are having disrupted sleep or a lot of worry - or use it every night!

Unconditional Love Shield: Healing and Connecting with Love while Protecting Yourself

This practice is particularly helpful if you are dealing with:

• Any cardiovascular or lung issues

• Healing from (or dealing with) abuse

• Difficulties with loving yourself

• Difficulties with loving another

• Feeling cut off from your emotions

• Needing to increase your connection to your emotions while increasing a safe boundary around you to protect you from negativity.

• Station 4 issues