Empath 911

Do you have hyper-responsibility syndrome (lots of empaths do!)? 

Here’s what it is, how it drains your peace and power, and what to do about it! 

Mantra for 2023: PUT IT DOWN.

For a lot of us, carrying everyone else's stresses and pain and worries is a way of life.

It's so automatic that we don't even notice it happening, until we start having shoulder pain…

And aren’t sleeping well…

And feel completely keyed up all the time. 

I find that this is particularly hard for empaths…

We are trained to look for solutions to people's pain and suffering.

We WANT to make it stop.

We WANT to help.

And that's amazing! 

But, if we don't know where we end and the other person begins, it becomes a problem.

A BIG problem.

We end up unknowingly carrying a big ol' backpack filled with other people's stuff.

Read more to find out how to put down things you aren’t supposed to carry…

Do you find it very hard to disconnect from someone you love who is draining you?

Or to say "no" when you cannot do something, but you sense the other person's need?

Or to shut down from everything you've been feeling all day and be able to rest at night?

If so, you are like most empaths - you have a hard time having healthy boundaries. Let me show you why, and how to get some!

Comment with a ❤️ you can't go to sleep some nights because every time you close your eyes you are imagining people in pain who you can't help.

Or if you say "I'm sorry" 1,000 times a day for every little thing, not because you actually did anything to apologize for, but because it's such a habit to think that you somehow should have seen someone's need coming and psychically fixed it before it ever became an issue.

Or if you simply don't know how to stop helping, because you feel like if you don't help, who will?

Do you feel pulled apart at the seams because you have so many people who need so. many. things. all. the. time. and they expect you to put aside all your needs to take care of their wants?

Yeah, me, too.

It took me a LONG time to finally understand that I was allowed to keep some energy for myself.

I was allowed to say "no."

If you've ever wondered what the heck was wrong with you when you feel like you are sensing all the pain in the world, this video will help you.

If you've ever wondered what the heck was wrong with you when you feel like you are sensing all the pain in the world, this video will help you.

Empaths are experts at hiding our true selves.

We sit through violent movies with friends and try to act like it's all fine, but end up having nightmares about it later.

We stand up to bullies at school for other kids, making ourselves the target. And we try to act like it's not affecting us, but it's traumatizing. But we'd rather be the focus of the bully than allow another kid that we think can't take it be the one taking all the abuse.

Do you have these amazing superpowers? Watch and let me know!

Have you ever been told that you are "being mean" or "selfish" (or worse) when you finally decide that you are going to tell someone "no" who has been constantly draining your energy?

Or when you've decided that you no longer want someone's negative or toxic energy in your life?

Or when you decide that, for once, you are going to take care of yourself and NOT save someone who won't save themselves (for the 100th time)?

One thing I talk about a lot is what I call "hyper-responsibility syndrome," and it is something exclusive to empaths.

What's hyper-responsiblity syndrome, you ask?

Well, it's that sense that you are personally responsible for not only every bad thing that could every happen in the world, but that you are also responsible for fixing every bad thing in the world, and that you always have to be alert that some bad thing MIGHT happen at some point in the future that you might need to do something about because, if you don't you'll be responsible for not seeing that bad thing coming and not doing anything to stop it.

Whew.

There isn't an empath that doesn't bear the scars of the many horrible things we've been called. Of course, because we truly DO feel everything and we truly DO take everything to heart, this can impact us at such a deep level that we take their perspective on who we are as truth. Because of that, we try to hide the depth of our feelings, and we shove the pain we are sensing deep down within. And, we often get sick from this - powerful emotions have a tendency to make us sick if we try to deny them after all.

It's time to stop feeling shame because you feel so much. It's time to stop feeling like you are weak because you care.

I always knew I was different in how deeply I felt emotions.

There is someone in my life that I would like to save. I'd like to pull this person out of their circumstances, show them how loved they are, and help them restart a life on their own.

I want them to believe in themselves like I believe in them.

I want them to have the kind of love in life that they truly deserve.

I want them to have things that make them happy, just for themselves, not for anyone else, and not because someone else told them that it was (or was not) okay to have them.

One of the most difficult and debilitating things about being an empath is that you feel other's emotions as your own; it can be extremely difficult to be able to tell whether it's your emotion you're feeling or others emotions from around you.

You'll also notice that there are times when you wake up and just feel amped, worried, anxious, and on high alert. There won't be anything in your immediate world that's particularly disturbing, so it's hard to figure out why in the world you feel so "off."

I remember a time when I was going through so much that I truly thought I would break. We had gone through our 4th or 5th failed adoption, and we had to put our beloved dog of 16 years to sleep due to an extremely fast-growing cancer that gave us just days to figure out what to do (and there was no treatment possible).

I am a person who tries to always see the bright side of things. I always look for the lesson. I always believe that even bad things are leading me to something better.

But, in that moment, I hit rock bottom. My faith shattered. My heart was broken in a way I felt was permanent. I had picked myself up and brushed myself off so many times, and I truly felt in that moment that I could not do it again. The weight of the sorrow of all of that loss was overwhelming.

It's time to stop believing everything you've been told about you having to ALWAYS be there to constantly for anything anyone could possibly need. It's time to understand how to feel the discomfort of putting up a healthy boundary, and to put it up anyway.

You’ve got your toilet paper. You’ve got your groceries. You’re (hopefully) in a safe place. You are doing social distancing and washing your hands. You’ve done what you can for your physical survival.

But have you thought about how you get through this pandemic mentally? Have you considered what you need to be able to stay positive, focused, and emotionally well?

Here is my seven-step guide to creating your Mental Survival Kit to get through any crisis - even a pandemic - and come out stronger, happier, and more well.

Being an empath means that you will often feel quite different from everyone you know. The good news is that there are more empaths than you might think, AND that we all have a lot in common — including these 7 life experiences:

Did you know that some everyday places can be a war zone for an Empath? It's true. When you are super-sensitive to all the subtle changes in an environment and are also a sponge for people's emotions, some very normal places can become overwhelming. Here are five:

Like any group of people, stereotypes and myths abound about Empaths. Because of these myths, I get many questions from unaware Empaths who don't believe in there sensitive nature because they don't fit into these stereotypes.

Common questions are: 

• I think I might be an Empath, but I'm not an introvert. Does that mean I'm not one?
• I've heard Empaths are generally depressed. I'm highly sensitive but also super happy; I guess I'm not one then?
• I'm very logical, but I hear that most Empaths are more creative. Is that true? 

Unfortunately, if you think you're an Empath but do not fit into these stereotypes, you might not seek the help you need to understand and protect this important aspect of you.  When you don't know how to turn it on and off, you can run out of energy pretty quickly. Suddenly, you end up super exhausted and unable to keep doing the good you want to do in the world. 

Let's just go ahead and keep that from happening, okay? 

It's time to bust some of the most ridiculous myths about being an Empath: 

The holidays can be an absolutely exhausting time for Empaths, and with Thanksgiving coming up, it’s a good bet that you are going to be bombarded with tension, old family patterns, and a few Emotional Vampires (EVs) coming out to suck your energy dry. 

So, how do you stay healthy and centered when EVs or other toxic people have a seat at your table? How do you actually have a happy holiday, instead of one filled with exhaustion, tension, disappointment, and sadness? Use these techniques and you just might have a great holiday: 

Are you an Empath? If so, it can be tough to stay empowered and healthy; always feeling everyone’s hurt often leads to putting your own needs aside to do whatever it takes to stop the pain.

It’s time for you to take care of you so that you can keep on taking care of those you love (if you don’t, you will get sick and tired and be unable to function). 

To do so, you need to implement these 5 lessons immediately: 

In this short video, I cover 6 things that non-Empaths say that drive Empaths crazy (and make us feel like we are from a different planet!). Do you have others? What have you heard from non-Empaths that have made you feel like you are totally misunderstood? Comment below!

It took me a long time to figure out that I'm an Empath. I'd like to save you some of the pain and exhaustion I went through! 

How do you know for sure you are an Empath? Here are 7 Empath traits:

As an Empath, you absorb more of the world's erratic emotions and dysfunctional energy than other people. While this can be useful—for instance, you are a terrific healer because of this—it’s also extraordinarily draining. If you don't have some fail-safes in place to make sure that you stay energetically healthy, you can easily get overwhelmed and be unable to function. Worst case, you can get quite physically sick.

Let's not have that happen, okay? Here are a few survival techniques for Empaths, so you can stay healthy and do all that good you want to do: 

In a conversation with a life coach acquaintance of mine, the topic turned to a guy she was working with on a project. He was rude. He was arrogant. He talked over her and took her ideas as his own. He was male chauvinist in a way I hadn’t seen in a while. He was, in no uncertain terms, a gigantic jerk. 

Upon pausing from describing his vile behavior, she said, “Ah, well. He’s a wonderful teacher.”