“MY allergies are killing me this year.”
“MY back pain is awful.”
“MY chronic bronchitis is getting so much worse.”
“MY cancer is in remission. I hope it stays that way.”
Every time I hear the word “MY” attached to a pain, disease, or illness, I want to smack that word right out of the sentence. Why? Because the more you personalize an illness, the more power you give it to stick around.
Here’s why (and what to do about it):
1. Words have frequency, and frequency creates your reality.
Scientists have proven that reality is actually just waves coming together to create that which we experience as physical life. Beyond that, my own work and research with The Flow Method has shown that the specific frequency (wavelength) of words and beliefs manifests specific pain or illnesses.
Since every word has a unique frequency, word choice is critical to the healing process. When you personalize an illness by using words like “MY” or “I AM,” you take ownership of it; it’s literally YOURS. The more you take ownership of it, the more entrenched it becomes in your body and your reality.
Do you really want a disease or pain to be yours? Not if you want to heal, you don’t.
2. Disease and pain is not your identity. It’s a temporary aspect of who you are.
When people spend tons of time on health boards devoted to “their” illness, I cringe. When they sign each of their posts with their date of diagnosis, current medications, medical procedures done, and current statistics, I feel like screaming. By doing so, they’ve just made the illness their identity.
If you want to remain sick, that’s fine.
If you actually want to heal from said illness, it’s a problem.
Why? Your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it, so whatever you decide IS your identity STAYS your identity until you decide to change it.
For instance, if you identify yourself as shy, you’ll stay shy until you take action to be outgoing. If you identify as angry, you’ll stay angry until you actively decide to be calm.
Likewise, if you identify yourself with a certain illness which your whole life revolves around, your subconscious has no reason to try to heal you; as far as it’s concerned, you are happy being ill.
It’s this very shift in thinking that inspires life-changing organizations to help their members use present-tense terms for who they are now. For instance, most smoking cessation programs encourage members to change from saying “I am trying to stop smoking” to “I am a non-smoker.”
Notice the difference? The first sentence is still identifying with the problem and unsure of change, in the second, the change has already occurred. You are already a new identity, even in the midst of changing.
Try doing the same with any illness or pain. Shift from “I am trying to heal from…” to “I am healthy now.” Detach yourself completely from the “ill identity” or any question about your healing. You are simply healed.*
3. Stop talking so much about it.
Have you ever been around someone who seems to only talk about their illness? Or who seems to work their illness even into conversations with strangers?
This is not a person who has a high chance of healing.
Just as identifying with an illness does, talking incessantly about it anchors it into your system and empowers it. Basically, you're just tuning your frequency into the illness over and over again.
To shift to healing mode, choose to not discuss pain or illness in any interaction for the next week. Instead, focus on asking others about their lives and really listen. Take the focus of you and focus on your connection with others; you’ll be amazed how much better you feel.
4. And stop others from talking about it, too.
If people are so used to identifying you with your illness that it’s all they ask about, learn to change the topic with kindness. Use phrases like, “Well, I’m getting there. Thanks for asking! And how is everything with you/your child/your job/whatever?” or “You know, thanks for asking, but I am trying to focus on the good things going on in my life. For instance, did you see my awesome rose bush/new car/funny pet/whatever?”
5. If you must talk about it, use different words.
It’s possible to talk about an illness without owning it. Let’s change the four “owning” sentences at the start of this article to “healing” sentences:
- Owning Sentence: “MY allergies are killing me this year.”
- Healing Sentence: “Yeah, I’m currently dealing with some allergies, but they’ll go away.”
- Owning Sentence: “MY back pain is awful.”
- Healing Sentence: “Ugh, my back is really hurting. I’m going to take some time to meditate to lessen it.”
- Owning Sentence: “MY chronic bronchitis is getting so much worse.”
- Healing Sentence: “Wow, I am having a harder time than normal breathing today. Maybe I should take some time to relax and journal about what’s making me feel constricted in my life.”
- Owning Sentence: “MY cancer is in remission. I hope it stays that way.”
- Healing Sentence: “I am so excited to be cancer-free! Now I am going to do everything I can to strengthen my body and stay healthy for good.”
Get the shift? If you must talk about illness or pain, rewrite your sentences to send healing messages to your mind.
More than that, focus on bringing awareness to pain or illness and choose to act in ways that show your mind that you are serious about listening to its wisdom. When you do that, you are empowering healing in your mind and body and taking responsibility for your life.
And this is likely obvious: Never, ever use the word “MY” with an illness again. Never, ever. Got it?
* I can hear some of you arguing, “But, I have a chronic/terminal/unfixable illness! That’s not temporary! How would this help?” I hear you, and I am not saying that, in your case, maybe the illness has really taken hold and refuses to be reversed, or maybe it’s genetic, or maybe it’s a permanent disorder. Even if that is the case, you can still decide to not be identified by your illness (for a great example of this, check out my article about a blind pole vaulter). More than that, don’t be so sure you can’t heal; I can also tell you that I have worked with many people diagnosed with chronic/terminal/unfixable illnesses and who DID heal. So, remember that might just be possible, too.