Mistake #2: Believing that you can change or save a person.
It may be very romantic to think that you are going to be the knight in shining armor or the, well, warrior princess, but in reality it is exhausting, stressful, and causes resentment.
I am a serious helper personality with a ridiculously big heart, so every sob story has me running to dry the tears. That’s not a bad personality trait, but it does get you into a lot of trouble in picking mates, as you end up finding people that are a mess, but that you think can change with a little love or direction or kindness or (well, the list goes on).
Of course, what ends up happening is that the person either doesn’t want saved or changed, or tries to become the person you want them to be, but that isn’t who they really are. So, they either slip up and go back to their old selves - and then feel ashamed/angry, or they keep up the change long enough to become resentful of you.
Here’s what I have learned: In picking a relationship, find someone that doesn’t need saving. Then, you can turn your attention on using your big heart to save the rest of the world, and you can come home to a person who can help renew your batteries to go out and do it another day.
Next, Big Mistake #3!