Empaths: Here’s the REAL Lesson Jerks are Teaching You (And Your 5-Part Survival Plan)
In a conversation with a life coach acquaintance of mine, the topic turned to a guy she was working with on a project. He was rude. He was arrogant. He talked over her and took her ideas as his own. He was male chauvinist in a way I hadn’t seen in a while. He was, in no uncertain terms, a gigantic jerk.
Upon pausing from describing his vile behavior, she said, “Ah, well. He’s a wonderful teacher.”
How to Stop Auto-Helping: 4 Steps to Deciding Whether You Should Get Involved
Are you an "auto-helper?"
If you instinctively help regardless if you have the time, money, or inclination to do so and end up running the to rescue for every sob story or cause which crosses your path, then you are.
Because you help automatically, you can end up getting in way over your head with the amount of assistance or money which is requested. When this happens, you'll either push yourself to the point you are financially or physically broke, or you’ll develop resentment over all you’re doing with no one assisting you.
The Kids We Couldn't Adopt
I’ve wanted to adopt children since I was a small child, so I feel more than prepared for the adoption process. What I wasn’t prepared for—what I couldn’t ever imagine—was having to decline the adoption of a child.
Unfortunately, we’ve had to make that choice three times in this process, once about a month ago, once about 3 months ago, and once about 6 months ago. All—for different reasons—were the most heartbreaking decisions we’ve ever had to make, however this last one took me out at the knees for about a month; I was definitely in mourning and just unable to even talk about it for a while. I shut myself off from all my online presences to just try to give myself time to get through it.
The Baby We Couldn't Adopt
She explained that our match was a woman, who I will call "Sarah," who was in rehab for opiate use, who didn’t know that she was pregnant for 24 weeks, and was clean as of the moment. Sarah's mom also wanted a partially open adoption and wanted to talk with me via phone that day. The baby was a boy, she was here in the state (as opposed to China), and she was due in just 8 weeks!