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Carpe Diem

My Oprah Casting Call (Part 6)

So, my gut instinct about him was right on - he was annoying, sure, but he has a good heart. Much like the real Del from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, there is a lot to be learned from my casting call buddy: Be optimistic about life. You might have to go through 8 jobs in a year, but you don’t have to be depressed while you are doing it. You can inspire people with your life even if you aren’t Oprah or Dr. Phil, and maybe because you aren’t. 

And finally, Del definitely epitomizes lesson #1: He is, in all ways, unapologetically, exactly who he is. Not everyone is going to like him, but that is going to happen whenever you are who you really are. At the end of the day, if you don’t have a few people who dislike you, you probably haven’t ever been your true self or stood up for something you truly believe in. So, don’t obsess when people don’t like you. When you think about it, you probably don’t really value their opinion or view of the world, either. 

My Oprah Casting Call (Part 5)

This howling is so loud that my eardrums begin to hurt with the vibration (I talked to people one the other side of the parking lot, and they heard her). She stays at this volume for her entire pitch, doing her best “Sha Na Na” from In Living Color impression (I loved the original, but this, not so much). I stare at her with disbelief - how can this be the same shell-shocked girl that was so nervous that she was going to read her pitch off her phone? 

My Oprah Casting Call (Part 4)

This certainty is confirmed with what happens next. The African-American guy sitting next to me stands up and starts his very energetic pitch. He’s dressed quite nicely in a blue button-down shirt and tie, when suddenly, he rips it off. Now, when I say “rips it off” I mean Chippendales-style, button-flies-past-my-nose rips it off. This effort reveals a workout shirt. He talks for a few more seconds and rips that off, revealing a tank top. He throws on oven mitts with a flourish and yells that his show will also include healthy cooking.

With all this disrobing he has definitely gone over time, but no one has stopped him. I look at the “casting agent” and see her write, “yes” on his form. The stripper is getting a call back.

My Oprah Casting Call (Part 3)

I follow the group and end up in line next to a guy I will call “Dwayne,” a fresh-faced African-American fellow in his 20’s. He’s got a huge smile and wide-open, startled eyes, and is waving a video camera frantically in people’s faces. 

Not able to help myself (I told you it was a sickness), I smile at him and say “Hi!” 

In case you are counting, this would be my second truly awful move of the morning.